Truth. My Truth. I need to face it. I have been avoiding even talking to my wife, because facing her means facing the reality of the situation. Facing my weakness. Facing my responsibility for the actions that I have taken that have affected other’s lives. There is no word for this feeling. A feeling of the coming the end of a period of my life and the beginning of a new one, of finality.
I know my truth, but since I have a hard time hurting anyone directly, it somehow manages to vanish when I have a chance to tell her. I need to be strong enough in myself to get it out. That time has come. We are having lunch today and I have got to tell her. So what is my truth? The truth is, I made a mistake six, seven years ago. I should have listened to myself, trusted my instinct. Christine is one of my best friends. We should have never tried to make anything more of it. She has felt something for me since the day we met. Something that I have not felt in return. I settled for something that wasn’t love. I like her a lot, but I don’t love her, not the same way she loves me. I remember what love is, after many years, I finally remember. We can keep on trying make this marriage work, but no matter how hard I try love cannot be created. Both of us want more out of a marriage than what we are getting. As hard as it’s going to be to end it, it’s going to be the best thing. Until I can face that truth, face her with that truth we will both be miserable.

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