5ives: Five things I fear I might do if I were a ten-foot-tall monster with metal claws, laser beam eyes, and razor-sharp fangs

I love this guy.

  1. Undertake bloody rampage on the set of The View
  2. Disembowel line-cutters at Walgreens
  3. Devour double-parkers on Taraval Street (and, ironically, the Chinese takeout that doomed them to their fate)
  4. Poke gentle, good-natured fun at less powerful monsters when we meet at social events
  5. Keep library books well past their due date

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