Lucy the Neurotic Dog

The night before I went back to work after six weeks of recovery, Lucy woke us up pacing and panting. No matter how much we pled with her she would not settle down. I finally got up and took her out at 2:00 AM. We came back in and she settled down a little bit, but she was still acting funny.

The next morning I felt okay, no headache, if a little tired. I went to work intending to work a full day. I did okay until about 2:30 when I finally succumbed to a headache that had brewing all day. I came home and Lucy was acting even weirder. She was panting, pacing, and walking in circles; she seemed a little off balance. I finally called the vet and they were able to get her i right away. The doctor gave her a clean bill of health, she’s in great shape! I didn’t opt for any blood tests, I figured if she didn’t settle down within a couple of days, I’d bring her back.

I’m glad I took her to the vet, better safe than sorry, but since she was in fine shape, the only alternative was that she was having doggy panic attacks. She’d gotten used to me being around all the time and somehow she knew that I was going back to work the next day. I knew we had a neurotic dog; I didn’t realize it was quite that bad. She’s doing much better today; she knows that I will be coming back. It helps that Maura is going to be around more now that school’s out too. It makes me wonder if Luna is tormenting her when we’re not here!

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I came home early again today with a stabby headache. I know everyone told me that I should take it slow, start back with a week of half days, but I was really hoping I’d just be fixed and that’s it. The new drugs are helping, but I’m also trying to be a lot more active than I’ve been in almost two months. It seems that I’m going to have to ease back into reality.

A Machine for Loving

In the words of Iggy Pop

Two weeks after my arrival, Fox died
Just after sunset
I was stretched out on the bed
when he approached
and tried painfully to jump up
He wagged his tail nervously.

Since the beginning
he hadn’t touched his bowl once
He had lost a lot of weight
I helped him to settle on my lap
For a few seconds, he looked at me
with a curious mixture of exhaustion and apology
Then, calmed, he closed his eyes
Two minutes later he gave out his last breath.

I buried him beside the residence
at the western extremity of the land
surrounded by the protective fence
next to his predecessors
During the night, a rapid transport from the Central City
dropped off an identical dog
They knew the codes and how to work the barrier
I didn’t have to get up to greet them
A small white and ginger mongrel came toward me
wagging its tail
I gestured to him
He jumped on the bed and stretched out beside me.

Love is simple to define
but it seldom happens in the series of beings
Through these dogs we pay homage to love
And to its possibility.

What is a dog but a machine for loving
You introduce him to a human being,
giving him the mission to love
And however ugly, perverse, deformed or stupid
this human being might be
The dog loves him.
The dog loves him.

Rest in Peace, Sweet Ben